Giving, is it really the key to Happiness?

It seems to me that when people keep saying that giving is the key to happiness, they are missing the point, the real secret.

We have been told ad nauseum to put others before ourselves. But as in the oxygen on the airplane scenario, we can’t if we aren’t caring for ourselves. There is nothing to give.

Have you ever donated some money, and it only felt good for about ten minutes? Then you started wondering how you could pay your bills?

Giving is only helpful when it comes from a place of us feeling supported and having enough.

If you give in order to get, then you are just going to end up penniless.

I think people who feel loved and supported naturally give, as an outpouring of their sense of well being. And that makes them feel good. So then they think the giving is what made them feel good.

Do you remember a time when you felt generous, when you gave freely? How were you feeling on the inside? Were you feeling particularly cared for, even if everything wasn’t going your way?

I have read and listened to thousands of interviews of successful people. People who are happy, not just monetarily successful. And the thread that runs through each, that connects them all, is that somewhere in their upbringing they felt supported. It wasn’t always from a parent, it could have been through a church, or neighbor, but they grew up knowing they were supported.

(If you are like me, and didn’t feel supported as a child, then it’s our responsibility to find that feeling as adults. I spent plenty of time complaining about what I didn’t get, but nothing changed in my life, until I started noticing all the ways I am supported and loved.)

True giving comes from a place of knowing you are cared for.

What I have found when I am not feeling loved and supported, is I focus on something I love, and allow that feeling of love to come back to me. Then I feel full and supported and then I am ready to give and help others.

So you can just smile at those people who tell you you have to give in order to feel better.

Now you know how it really works.

It’s having that core sense that you are supported and taken care of that truly creates a sense of joy when you give.