The only True Fear

The only True Fear

by | Jan 15, 2018 | Blog

The only real fear is the fear that we can have everything we want.

Did you know this?

I have heard different people say it in various ways, but it was only a week or so ago that I felt it, that the truth of it made my cells feel spritely.

We are told by our parents and society from early on that we ask too much, that we can’t have all we want. That’s what they were told too.

But until we know that we are supported in creating our desires, and we live from this knowing, we will feel in bondage. No amount of money or stuff will ever give us a sense of freedom, until we become okay with this.  The difference between people who have money and are generous and not greedy, and the people who are hyper protective and fear losing what they have, is whether or not they believe they can have more and know there isn’t a limited amount and someone wants to take what they have.

It’s the difference between looking where you’re going, and watching your feet? Would you want a windshield in the floorboard of your car?

If you are scared to look ahead, at your destination, the you probably won’t get there. At least not without a lot of wrong turns.

Have you ever thought “oh it would be nice to have such and such” and then forgot about, only to have it show up the next day?  Or have you thought I would like to have a certain kind of car, and then you start seeing them everywhere?

Pretty cool huh?

It seems scary to allow ourselves to have we want. We think, “then what about the people who don’t already have as much as me? Or if I get all I want, how will that affect others, how will they get what they want?”

But just because one side of the planet has sun for 12 hours, does that mean there isn’t going to be any left for the other side of the planet?

If the west coast gets rain, does that mean there isn’t any left for the east coast?

When we start thinking of it this way then we remember we are not in charge of evening things out. We certainly have no control over what others have, and whether or not they are happy. So what if we just started paying attention to what we want?

If we allow ourselves to have all we want, isn’t it more likely we will be able to give and help others who we are inspired to help?

So what if the crux of every fear we have is the fear of having everything we want? How would knowing that change how you feel today?

 

Connecting the Thoughts

Connecting the Thoughts

by | Jan 15, 2018 | Blog

Connecting the thoughts

This is how I am striving to live my life right now, intentionally.

Some days look prettier than others.

I think we mostly live our lives unintentionally. They didn’t teach us in grade school the importance of living intentionally. We didn’t have an class on how to create things. That would have been fun though, wouldn’t it?

I think for most of us we can create little things we want. Like thinking of someone and them calling at that time. Or wanting a certain kind of car and then suddenly seeing them everywhere.

But it’s seems harder when there is something we want, really want, and we want it now!

Then we just want the big idea to come, the winning lottery numbers, the inspiration for the next google.

But I think  it’s like learning to ride a bicycle. At first you are unsteady so you go slow. Then as you become more and more comfortable you go faster and faster, you start taking corners faster, maybe even doing jumps. But you have to work up to it.

It would be like driving down a two-lane country road at 45 mph, and then suddenly the car decides to start going 90 mph. For a race car driver, going fast around twisty roads would be nothing because they are use to, they have done it hundreds of times, they are comfortable with that level of speed. But for most of us, it would be scary (not just because the car took over driving!) and it’s more likely we would crash because we hadn’t worked our way up to being comfortable at that speed on a winding road.

But if we had worked up to driving 90 mph on country roads, gone a little faster each time we drove the road? Then it would be fun and exhilarating!

We always think we want to get to the next thing quickly. But what is the possibility that if you knew where the thoughts were taking you, you would go? There are times when we end up in a completely different place than we thought we were going, but we are happy to be there. Would you have wanted to know where you were going? Is it more exciting to go for a road trip and not know what the scenery is going to look like?

We have all heard people say ‘the joy is in the journey.’ And if you’re like me, you want to punch them in the face sometimes. But now I can see the journey is a necessary part of me being able to fully enjoy where I’m going, and not be like so many lottery winners and just loose all I had been given because I didn’t know how to handle it.

As we go towards our destination we get to learn and grow in so many ways. We get to meet new people, and learn new things about ourselves. And I really like that part.

And if the joy isn’t in the journey, then doesn’t life just end up being a bunch of unhappiness, peppered with joy?

Guilt or Appreciation

Guilt or Appreciation

by | Jan 14, 2018 | Blog

We all have a choice to feel guilt or appreciation.

There is always going to be someone who has less than us, and there is always going to be someone who has more than us.

Do you help a sick person by getting sick?

The same goes for those that have less than us, we can’t help them by feeling guilty for what we have, or by having less.

This seemed so logical once I wrote it down. But there continuously seemed to be some part of my brain that wanted to convince me that I was bad for having all that I have, for all the happiness I have, when there are so many others who have so much less.

Does it make you feel better when you get mad at someone and they just get mad back instead of trying to hear you?

Those that inspire us are the ones that are doing better than us. They give us hope, and a desire to keep moving forward.

How much can we truly contribute to someone when we feel guilty?

It’s a question I find myself asking every day.

When my life is going well, then I want to look back and bring everyone with me. I want everyone to be happy too.

But I can’t, it’s not my job. My job is to continuously appreciate what I have.

We don’t like a sourpuss that has more than us. We want them to tell us how lucky they are and how they got there.

We may feel jealous, but we still want them to appreciate what they have.

What do you feel when your life is going well?

Pieces of Me

Pieces of Me

by | Jan 11, 2018 | Blog

I originally wrote this to give as my Ice Breaker speech for Toastmasters.

 If you hear an accent, it’s from Kentucky. Even though I haven’t lived there for 28 years, it still rears it’s southern-belle head. I am the only in my family of four to have picked up a southern accent from my early years.

Often we are defined by what we do. In my case what I’ve done is based on what I love. What I do and have done is a painting of my greatest joys.

So as I tell you my passions, the threads that are woven into every decision I’ve made, I will share bits and pieces of my life. I have been able to chase most of my dreams, guided by intuition and joy.

Where would you go and what would you do if your greatest joy was being in the wild lands and interacting with wildlife?

When I was a child my parents volunteered in Rocky Mountain National Park each summer. We would fill our big green suburban with all the basics of mountain living and drive I-70 until we got to my only true home, the mountains.  I climbed my first mountain at the age of 9. When I dipped my toe in that remote glacial lake as the marmots looked on, I dreamed of all the untouched lakes in my future that had no other purpose but to nurture wildlife and bring beauty to the few who trekked to her edges.

The summer of my second birthday, while hiking with my Mom, I removed my diapers, handed them to her, and squatted to pee. I was free. The woods were and are my happy place. The only place I truly feel safe. My life in Kentucky was full of potholes and sink pits. But my life in the woods, was full of trees, quiet, and wildlife as curious of me as I them.

I was considered eccentric back then. Girls didn’t sleep on the ground, climb rocks and spend days hiking by themselves. I tried to fit in, I tried to be ‘normal’ and do all the things everyone else thought was fun, but no amount of alcohol brought me the joy I felt sitting against a tree. The first solo drive I took once I had the blessing of the DMV was to go blissfully hiking by myself.

In 1994, due to a cat who kept bringing half-live birds into the house, I discovered I could be a wildlife rehabilitator. I never thought anything would match the joy I felt sleeping on the ground near a mountain stream hundreds of miles from anything considered civilized. But the first time I helped rehabilitate a great horned owl and then release her back into the wild, brought me to a new level of ecstasy.

If your infinitely curious how would your school life look and how many college degrees would you end up with?

For me four.

Though my first two years in college I almost flunked out. Not from partying, but from exploring. I just didn’t care about anything happening inside the walls.

But n 1987, in the summer between my sopohmore and junior years in college I backpacked across Europe. It was way before cell phones and personal computers were common. It was just me, and whoever I met. There was no way for anyone back home to find me. I stopped being the strange girl. All the chains that I had collected, in an effort to get  me to fit in fell in bits and pieces across Europe, a link in Amsterdam, a couple of links in Budapest, and lots of links in Austria and Switzerland. I got the first peek of who I really was.

I returned to KY, quit the sorority and piled up classes that fascinated me. I took 20 hours a semester my last two years, and got a 4.0 every time. I competed in triathalons, I worked  a job I loved.

This curiosity, coupled with my Dad’s hatred of his high paying corporate job and my Mom telling me I could do anything I wanted, drove my work life.

Imagine getting paid to live in the heart of Yosemite in exchange for taking employees backpacking and rock climbing. Or what you would think about getting flown to small communities in the middle of nowhere, as an Indoor Air Quality Inspector and help improve people’ well-being.

Would you dare to apply to a prestigious lab to be a writer, and spend your days talking to some of the brightest minds in the world, in a remote forest covered town, when you have never done any technical writing?  I did just that, answering the question I consistently ask myself, “What would I do if I were free?”

What did you do or think you’ll do when you turn 50? I am celebrating how much I have learned and experienced in my short time on this planet.  As we go along we try to not repeat our mistakes, but now I know it’s funner to grow from a place of curiosity and seeking adventure.

I have lived in places where bear slept on my driveway and deer left antlers at my doorstep, but now I am getting to learn the power of deep human connection. Of accepting people as they are and not taking meanness and undependability as personal. I am learning to like people as much as I love animals and trees.

I am married to a man who I enjoy backpacking with more than I enjoy backpacking alone.

I have the best relationship with my parents that I have ever had because I stopped wishing they were different.

My need to be in the woods and my unsatiated curiosity has guided me to India, Bangladesh, Nepal, Jordan, western Europe, and about every state in the U.S. I have seen things very few people ever get to experience because I will happily hike 50 plus miles carrying 35 pounds on my back.  I have woken up covered in mud, because I passed out at a remote Jain temple on a mountain in central India, I have gotten to commune with bears and mountain lions and rattle snakes. None the least bit interested in harming me, as they knew I wasn’t interested in harming them.  I have gotten to surf with wild dolphins on a private California beach, I have gotten to sit with my granddad and many others as they took their last breath. I have gotten to hold a baby hummingbird smaller than my pinkie nail, and saved it’s life, and I have gotten to look in the mouth of a nighthawk and see it’s puppet throat.

I’m looking forward to seeing what adventure the next 50 years brings!