“Mom come quick!”

What is it Albert?”

“A big trailer just pulled in and there is some dark colored animal in it! Where do you think she is going to go?”

“Well Albert, maybe the animal is a companion for Dolly. You know she has been wanting a mate since Larry died.”

“But Mom! This animal is dark, Dollly is Light!”

“And why does that matter Albert?”

“Well that’s what Rupert told me. We are dark chipmunks, so we can’t interact with the light Prairie Dogs!”

“Hmm, well let’s just wait and see what happens. Have you had breakfast?”

“Yeah, I found some nuts under those big trees. I really want to go watch, can I Mom?”

“Yes, stay hidden. The wood pile should give you a good view. Then I need you to help gather food for the winter.”

“Okay.”

Albert crawled through the tunnel to the entrance, and skampered through the grass to the woodpile.

As he got to the top of the pile, the giant, fuzzy animal was emerging from the trailer.

“He, He, oh I wish Rupert was here. Look at her face! Dolly you got a strange one headed your way!” Albert yelled.

Dolly was watching intently from the far corner of the pasture. Every since her partner Larry suddenly died, she was scared of everything.

The humans opened the pasture gate, and took off the beasts halter and

ZOOM!!! went the beast running through the field, left then right, then rolling on the ground.

Dolly slowly walked up to the crazed creature.

“Don’t do it Dolly!” Albert yelled. “Look at her, keep your distance!’

But Dolly ignored his pleas and continued on.

Slowly step by step Dolly got closer to the beast. She had never seen such a thing in her life. She looked pitiful, her wool was full of plant parts, her toe nails looked like they hadn’t been cut in years. Her years looked like they had forgotten to stop growing!

And still she continued on.

She walked up to the beast and smelled her mouth. It smelled like hers. It smelled like she ate the same things as Dolly.

“Who are you?” Dolly asked.

“I’m Trinity.”

“Why are you here?”

“It sounds like from what the humans have been saying that this is where I will be living. It sounds like you and I were both alone, so they thought we would be good companions.”

“Oh, okay. What are you. You look different than me.”

“I am a Llama.  My Mom died a year ago, and I have been on my own since then. I miss having company.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. My companion died a couple of months ago. It’s been lonely and scary since then. Especially when the coyotes come by.”

The two began grazing.

“Ah man, that was a let down. Dolly, you didn’t put up a fight or anything. How could you let such a strange looking creature into your yard?”

“Well Albert, your pretty strange looking too. You don’t look anything like me either, and I let you in my yard. You are also a different color, and you are so small I could smoosh you with my hooves, but I don’t.  I have no reason to, you aren’t hurting me just by looking different.”

“Well, when you put it that way, that makes sense. Well I gotta go help Dad get food to store for the Winter! Doesn’t look like your new friend there will get cold! Look at all that wool!” Albert laughed as he bounced through the pasture and towards the woods.

 

Marcy

Marcy was a young girl with little tan freckles and straight brown hair she wore in pigtails.  She loved to play and laugh and dance.  She spent as much time as possible gathering friends for games of tag and chase, or just playing in the ocean near her home.  She loved meeting new people and enjoyed talking with people.

The one problem was that Marcy got messy a lot.  She was a beautiful girl, and the kids often ridiculed her because she would get muddy or dirty or fall off her bike.  She didn’t know this was just a part of growing up. She thought she had to do everything right.

 

Pizza Parlor

It was a cold winters day. The sun was shining with temptations of spring. Grandpa and Marcy had a play date and decided to go to their  favorite pizza parlor to  enjoy a delicious pizza and play some games.  After they had played a couple of rounds of her favorite games, Grandpa said,

“It is time to go home Marcy, your Mom will soon be at the house to pick you up.”

They drove home enjoying the car’s warmth and heated seats.

As Grandpa was plugging in his car, Marcy started crying.

“What’s wrong?”

“I forgot my coat, I am so forgetful, how could I have done such a stupid thing, Mom will be so angry, Aunt Sara gave me that coat.”

“Let’s hop back in the car and get it” Grandpa said with compassion.

“It is so far away Grandpa, why would you want to take me all the way back?”  sobbed Marcy.

“Because we all forget and lose things.  We have time to drive back, I am sure it will still be there.”

Marcy nervously got back in the car.

“I am so bad, how could I do such a thing?  I am always messing things up and forgetting things.”

Grandpa rubbed Marcy’s shoulder, consoling her.

“It will be ok Marcy.  I lose things all the time.  I misplace my keys, lose pens and papers, I’ve even lost my shirt, but I have never lost my pants!”

Marcy had to smile a little bit at that one.

When they got back to the pizza parlor,Marcy’s coat under the table.  It had just fallen off the chair when they were playing.  “You were right Grandpa, there it is!” Marcy was so relieved, she grabbed Grandpa’s hand and they skipped back to the car.

When they returned to the house, Grandma was home.  Marcy told her Grandma about the coat and that Grandpa had never lost his pants!

“I am so relieved!” exclaimed Grandma.

They all laughed.

“I am always messing things up Grandma.  I fall off my bike, I lose pencils, I spill food and I get scolded every time.  I leave my stuff at other people’s houses and we have to go back to get it. Mom really hates it when I do that.”

“Marcy, I fall off my mountain bike most every time I ride it and I am 65 years old! I would have it no other way. Failing and making mistakes is all a part of life, it is how I learn new things. You certainly don’t want to make a habit of losing things, but I know  you are responsible and always doing the best you can. Forgive yourself when you make a mistake, even if the adults around you don’t.  We all tend to give ourselves a hard time when we screw up.  The older I get the easier it has become to forgive myself and I tend to mess up less when I forgive myself for the times I do make a mistake or lose something. Your Mom is busy and has a lot of responsibilities, that is why she gets upset when you leave your things at a friend’s house.  She is not saying you are bad, she is just feeling overwhelmed with all she has to do.”

“Have you heard about Thomas Edison?” asked Grandma.

“No,” answered Marcy.

“Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, and at the same time he was proud of the fact he had tried 1,000 different ways to make the light bulb that didn’t work before he found one that did.  Mr. Edison invented many things and is known as a brilliant man. He would admit that he failed more than he succeeded and he probably lost more stuff than he found, but he kept pushing himself to do the very best he could each day.”

“Thank you Grandma and Grandpa for understanding.  I wish more of my friends knew this.  So many of my friends talk about getting in trouble because they didn’t do well on an exam, or lost something and Josh even got in trouble for falling off his bike!  I wonder what I can do to help them realize that it is ok.”

“You can start sharing your experiences with them, and learn to laugh at yourself when you screw something up.  Have you been in a music class and noticed that when someone hits a wrong note all the kids laugh at him?  Instead of laughing at him maybe you could tell him it is ok, they were playing and that is the most important part, to be in the game.”  explained Grandpa.

“That is a great idea Grandpa! I will do that tomorrow in music class, someone always hits a wrong note, and gets blamed for not practicing enough.” Marcy shared.

“And do you notice when that happens that they usually aren’t inspired to practice more, instead they often  want to give up completely?”

“It is true, that is what happens, I always wondered why,” said Marcy thoughtfully.

“It is because we all want to be appreciated, and seen for doing the best we can.  It is just hard for adults to do that with children sometimes because they haven’t always learned to do it for themselves.”

“Well, starting tomorrow I am going to change that.  Whenever we are playing a game I am going to tell anyone who messes up that it is ok.  Thank you!”

The next day as Marcy was preparing for school, she was filled with excitement.  She was looking forward to finding someone making a mistake and tell them was ok.

When she got to school she had no problem doing just that. As soon as she walked in the door Marcy saw her friend Alison drinking from a water fountain, getting most of the water on her face and dress.  Marcy could see she was embarrassed because kids were walking by poking fun at her.

“Alison what a good job you are doing drinking from that fountain!”

“Oh, Hi Marcy, no I’m not.  Look at me, I am a mess, I have gotten water all over me and everyone is laughing at me, I don’t know why I have such a hard time drinking from the fountain sometimes,” Alison said, embarrassed.

“Alison, it is ok, you are doing the best you can.  It can be hard to predict how the water is going to come out sometimes, and the water comes out with such a gush it is hard not to get it all over you!  I think you are courageous for even using this fountain, no one else does because of the possibility of getting water all over yourself and being laughed at.”

“Thanks Marcy for saying that, I feel less ashamed now.”

The next few weeks Marcy looked for people making mistakes and before she knew it people were coming to her to tell her about the mistakes they made. The kids started calling her the mistake champion!

She was astonished at how quickly everyone had taken to this idea, so she decided to start a Freedom to Fail Club so that everyone could support each other.

Marcy decided to talk to the Principal, Mr. Roberts, and tell him her idea so they could get a room to meet in after school once a week.  Marcy went to his secretary and asked to speak to him.  They made an appointment for the next day after Marcy’s last class.

The Meeting

“Hi Marcy what can I do for you today?”

Marcy liked Mr. Roberts.  He was fair in his dealing with the kids and he never talked down to them.  He always treated the kids with respect. If there was a fight he always listened to both sides of the story before making any decisions. And he was very funny, he liked to tell jokes.

“Thank you for meeting with me Mr. Roberts.  I want to start a club called The Freedom to Fail club.”

“Well, that is an interesting name Marcy, tell me more about this club.”

“Well for the last few weeks when I have seen someone fall down, miss a note in music class, or forget something,  instead of making fun of them, I have been consoling them, and telling them it is ok, that we all make mistakes.  The kids have enjoyed it so much, that they call me their Mistake Champion. So I decided it would be good to start a club so I am not the only one supporting others.”

“Where did you get this idea Marcy?”

“The idea to start a club is mine, Mr. Roberts,” Marcy said sheepishly, “but my Grandparents have been telling me just because I make a mistake or forget something I am not a bad person. Apparently even great inventors like Thomas Edison failed a lot before they succeeded.”

“Yes that is true, even the great writer James Joyce said, ” A man of genius makes no mistakes; his errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.”

“What does volitional mean, Mr. Roberts?”

“You can look it up Marcy and let me know what you find next time I see you in the hall.”  You could always count on Mr. Roberts to create a learning opportunity Marcy thought.  ” In regards to your club,  I will allow you to form the club and meet in the gym after school as part of the after school program.  I will let Coach Dobbs know.  Be careful with this Marcy.  I can tell that your intentions are good, but there is a possibility that some of the students will use it as an excuse to not try, so you will need to be clear that that is not what you are condoning.”

Marcy barely heard what Mr. Roberts said because of his last word; she was trying to figure out it’s meaning.  She assumed condoning meant accepting and made a mental note to look that word up as well. She loved learning new words!

“Thank you Mr. Roberts! I will write out a set of club rules for us to go by!”  Marcy exclaimed.

 

The Club

Several weeks had past and Marcy was really excited about the club. It was going well and most of the students were improving their grades and forgetting things less, because when they did make a mistake they forgave themselves and tried harder the next time. Marcy so enjoyed having a group of friends that felt compassion for her all the times she screwed up!

Marcy did have some concerns about a couple of students that, as Mr. Roberts warned, seemed to use the club as an excuse to not do homework or study for tests.  One particular student, Alan, was trying to get some of the other students to stop doing anything.

“Hi Marcy,”  Alan said the day they returned from spring break,  ” I had an awesome spring break.”

“Hi Alan, what did you do?”

“We went to the beach. I forgot to bring my bathing suit and sandals. Even though my Mom made me a list of what to bring, I just decided against it, I have a good excuse now.  And, instead of listening to my parents, I got in the high waves of the ocean and almost drowned!   My parents were so mad.  I just told them that I had freedom to fail.”

“But that isn’t what the club is about Alan!  It is about everyone doing their best and being ok if we make mistakes.”

“That’s your interpretation Marcy, who made you boss? Just because you started the club doesn’t mean you get to tell us what to do.”

Marcy was now regretting that she had never created the set of club rules she promised Mr. Roberts she would write.  She tried to convince Alan that what he was doing was not the purpose of the club, but he wouldn’t listen.  Instead he told her how he had gotten a whole group of his friends to stop studying for tests, doing homework or making their bed.  One friend had even ended up in the hospital because he wanted to jump out of his second story bedroom window. His parents repeatedly told him it was not a good idea, but he did it anyway, and broke his leg.

Marcy was devastated.  She felt completely responsible for Alan’s and his friends actions.

 

The long bus ride home

That day Marcy decided to sit by herself on the bus ride home.  She was afraid to speak to anyone for fear of saying the wrong thing.  She had really screwed up this time! She told herself she will always be Messy Marcy, she had tried to do a good thing and it turned into a disaster.  She didn’t know what to do.  She sat and watched the houses go by, feeling depressed and just wanting everyone to leave her alone. She couldn’t do anything right.

As she got closer to her stop she decided to go see her Grandparents instead of going straight home. Luckily the bus went right by their house and her parents wouldn’t be home for a few hours.

“Marcy, what a pleasant surprise to see you, come on in!” said Grandpa gingerly.

“Grandpa, I am afraid I have messed up again.  There are kids at school that are using the Freedom to Fail club as an excuse to not try!  I feel like I have created monsters in some of these people!  I guess I am just going to have to disband the club and stop supporting people when they make mistakes.  I was really wanting to do something good and it has turned into a disaster!  I really screwed up this time.”

“Come sit down Marcy,” Grandma said from the family room, “I am so sorry to hear you are having a hard time.  What other people do with your ideas is not your fault sweetie.  You can’t stop creating and having new ideas just because people use them erroneously.  There will be repercussions for those that don’t try, but don’t let it make you feel like you have to dismantle the club or stop being the Mistake Champion.  Making a mistake is much different than not trying at all.  Not trying is just laziness, making mistakes often just means you are pushing the boundaries of what you already know, or just being human.”

“Your Grandma is right.  Don’t give up just because a few people have made the club an excuse to be lazy.  I am sure there is something you can do, have you had any ideas?”

“Well, when I asked Mr. Roberts about starting the club, he warned me this might happen, so I said I would write out some rules for the club which I never did.  I feel so stupid for not doing that to begin with, especially since Mr. Roberts warned me.”

“Aw sweetie, don’t be hard on yourself, it is ok that you didn’t write out the rules.”

“I really never thought the kids would go to this extreme Grandma.  Everyone seemed so excited about the club and what I was doing.  No one said anything about it giving them an excuse to not even try, so I really didn’t think we needed the rules.  I didn’t want to come off as too bossy, I wanted this to be our club and for us to just support each other.  I had no one idea it would turn into such a mess, now Mr. Roberts will never trust me again.”

“Well  you can go to Mr. Roberts and admit your mistake and apologize for not keeping up your end of the bargain.  I am sure he will understand.  Maybe you could sit here and write the rules, we would be happy to hear what you wrote.”  said Grandpa.

“Ok, I would really appreciate that.  Do you really think Mr. Roberts will forgive me for not following through?”

“Yes, I am sure of it Marcy,  you will find that people are very forgiving and respectful when you just admit and take ownership of your mistakes.”

 

The Freedom to Fail Rulebook

“Ok Grandma and Grandpa, I have written the rules, or guidelines is more how I like to think of them, could you listen to them?”

“We would be delighted for you to share them with us!”

Freedom to Fail Guidelines

1. You must always try your best.
2. You must learn from your mistakes.
3. You must be responsible for your belongings, it is ok to forget or lose things, just don’t make a habit out of it (see rule #1).
4. Use common sense, don’t do anything that is dangerous. There are times when our parents will tell us not to do something, they are saying it for your safety, respect that and they will respect your decisions more.
5. (This can be the scary one). Share this with your parents or a significant adult in your life and discuss how you would like to do this.

“Wow Marcy, those are excellent, I am so proud of you!” Grandpa said as he gave Marcy a hug.

“Remember that there may be some kids who don’t want to follow these rules and it is ok.  You don’t need to force these on anyone, everyone gets to make their own choices and deal with the consequences of those choices.  Be clear, these are just the rules or guidelines for being in the Freedom to Fail club.”

“Thanks Grandma, I am really scared to read these to the group, especially Alan and his friends. I am scared that they may overrule me and kick me out of my own club!”

“That is a real possibility Marcy, so be prepared for that.”

“Ok, I will.”

 

Club meeting

Marcy calls an emergency meeting of the Freedom to Fail club.  She asks Coach Dobbs if he would attend as she is really scared that Alan and his friends will try to take over and convince the other kids to use the club as an excuse to not try.

“Hi everyone, thank you for coming.  I want to apologize to each of you. I started this club without any guidelines as to what I was hoping we could do together.  There are some kids who are using this club as an excuse to not even try and that is not what I was wanting to create.  I am sorry I messed up.”

“Yeah Marcy!  You messed up, you were trying to create a safe place for us all to make mistakes, and I for one, am so grateful you did!  It is ok, I am looking forward to hearing the guidelines,” said Mike.

Marcy nervously read the guidelines.  She was so grateful for Mike’s comment. It helped some, but it was Alan and his posse that concerned her most.  Marcy remembered what Mr. Roberts said when she apologized to him and read him the guidelines.

“Marcy, I am so proud of you.  Thank you for apologizing and admitting  your mistakes.  You are a true leader when you are willing to apologize to those you are leading.  Don’t worry about Alan and his group, they have never tried very hard, it wasn’t because of you forming the group that they stopped trying.”

Marcy had been so relieved for Mr. Robert’s compassion.

After Marcy read the guidelines, there was silence.  She saw Alan whispering to a couple of his friends and suddenly they all shouted, “Fraud! You have no business being a part of this group, let alone it’s leader!  You are just giving into pressure from the teachers. You have no idea what you are talking about.  Everyone in favor of kicking Marcy out of the club raise your hand!”

“Um, excuse me there Alan, before you take a vote I would like to say a few words about this.  You all know Michael Jordan right?” asked Coach Dobbs.

“Yes!” everyone exclaimed.

“Well as you know he is one of the greatest basketball players of all time, and yet he missed as many baskets, if not more, than the other players.  The difference was that he kept trying.  He practiced over and over again.  He didn’t let the missed baskets, or someone was making more baskets than him, stop him, he always did his best.  And I am sure you have all heard of the great Albert Einstein, he said ‘you never fail until you stop trying’.  The point I am making is that Marcy’s guidelines are similar to what this great athlete and great scientist believed. It is ok to make mistakes as long as you are trying the best you can.  I am not a part of this group and you all will need to vote the way you see fit, I just wanted to add my two-cents.”

Marcy was relieved and nervous all at the same time. She had no idea how the kids would respond to Coach Dobb’s words.

“Marcy and Coach Dobbs, I think you two should both leave while we take a vote.” Alan piped up in the chatter.

Marcy and Coach Dobbs went to the other side of the gym.

“Marcy I am so proud of you, I would love to have you be the leader of any team I coach.  I love your initiative to create a group of peers that supports each other in stretching and doing the best they can each day.  I know it can be hard.  Sometimes your parents get scared when they see their kids messing up or not doing as well as the other kids, but I want you to know that even when your parents scold you for messing up, they still love you and support you in being the best you can be.  Us adults have our own fears of making mistakes and looking silly in front of other people, and sometimes we put that on our kids.”

“Thank you so much for that Coach Dobbs!  It can be very confusing  when my parents get mad at me for not doing well on a test, dropping something or losing things, because I know I am always doing the best I can. It doesn’t help when they scold me.  My Grandpa told me to forgive myself when I mess up. When I do that, even when my parents don’t, it has really helped me to try harder and harder.”

“That is so great to hear Marcy.  No matter what the club decides, it sounds like you have learned a lot.”

“Yes, I really screwed up by not creating the rules first thing like I told Mr. Roberts I would.  I almost wanted to just quit and be by myself because I was so embarrassed.  My Grandparents reminded me that it was ok and just because I hadn’t written the rules yet, it wasn’t too late.”

“Sounds like you have wise Grandparents, Marcy!”

“I do Coach Dobbs, I am very lucky to have them so close too, they help me to understand things better.”

 

The Decision

“Looks like they are calling you over Marcy, do you want me to go over  with you?”

“Thanks Coach Dobbs, but I want to face them on my own. Thank you for all you said in support of me.  Talk to you later.”

“You are welcome Marcy, anytime.  Let me know what happens.”

“Ok,” Marcy nervously said over her shoulder. She walked back across the gym to find out the results of the vote.  She had been very careful not to watch the group while she and Coach Dobbs were talking, she was too nervous.

As Marcy walked over she could see smiles on the faces of her friends and scowls on the faces of Alan and his friends.  She started feeling  better.

“Marcy,” began Ashley, “we all wish you had set out these guidelines when you first formed the club so that none of this would have happened.  But we also realize that it is possible it would have happened anyway. We appreciate that you apologized and fixed the mistake you made and created the guidelines.”

Marcy was wishing they would just get to the decision, she could barely hear anything Ashley was saying.

“We have decided that you should continue to be a part of this group and our leader for now.  One day we may decide to have someone else lead, but you are the best choice for now.”

“Not all of us agree with this decision, Messy Marcy,” scowled Alan.  “You say in your guidelines to always try your best and you didn’t even try to make guidelines at first, so it seems to me that you already broke one of your first rules and shouldn’t be a part of the club.”

“I understand your perspective Alan, and you are right, I did break my first rule by not even trying, but I promise to never do that again.  Do you promise the same thing?  Will you will start trying your best so you can stay a member of this club?”

“Yes, me and my bro’s here have decided we will try it your way.  After all, if it is good enough for Michael Jordan then maybe we should give it a try too.”

Everyone cheered!